Feb 1 2013
The dirty orange skyline was thick of the passing clouds that covered our streets with snow. I left early for the weekly appointment and enjoyed the more relaxed drive because of it. When I reached the synagogue only a couple of cars were parked before me.
The inside was warm, the usual stained glass windows reflecting light back into the sanctuary and the wooden separator to the back partially closed. In the door sized opening, the rabbi motioned and said that we’d meet downstairs.
Along the way I bumped into a friend and said hello. We exchanged some small talk then separated paths. In the far end of the basement was a classroom where we had convened a few times before. That’s where the rabbi confronted me. Sometimes I can’t tell if he is kidding or is serious. This was one of those occasions. “No, I’m not an exotic dancer”, I chuckled in reply.
I changed my Facebook status by decorating my past with strange occupations – circus animal trainer and Chippendale dancer. Truth is, I dance around life all the time, miss-stepping more often than not. There are plenty of monkeys surrounding me and trying to get them to expand their horizons is an animal act of its own… and that’s where I enter the actual purpose of this post.
Very few people read my blog. I don’t advertise it to the geocaching community anymore because many of the posts don’t apply. I don’t direct people to it because most of my friends and acquaintances would find some bones to pick, though their intentions are only good.
Blogging is a sort of self indulgence. It’s an epitaph as well. If hosted on a permanent site that’s hosted by Google, it lasts long after we die. If hosted on a privately financed site, it quickly erodes into the underwebs and is forgotten. I wonder and doubt that anything I have to say can truly add to the world. Can my posts enlighten others? Can they help? Sure they can, but do they? There are certainly better bloggers out there. There’s better material from lesser bloggers, too.
A side effect of incorporating the Jewish culture in my life has been a stronger conviction. I hear of Jewish guilt all the time, it’s both a joke and a melodrama. I came into this with enough guilt of my own and I keep it dripping intravenously. I’m not feeling any more guilt than I had before – but I do sense more conviction. Any work I do should be made available to help someone, and the more available, the better. The developments I put forth for business are made very available for the other members of my team, and eventually that work is made readily available for our company’s clients.
I didn’t think much of this dust-collecting blog until the rabbi mentioned it in our talk. He thought one of the posts had good merit, which made me rethink the whole purpose. To make a blog useful, it has to become centralized and separate. If I were to break my blog up into multiple blogs, it would make it more keyed to the readers’ interest and easier for that reader to glean useful information to help them along their journey. Just something for me to ruminate over.