Persevering tenderheartedness outweighs glowing charisma over time, every time.
In college I was nearly as much an outcast as I was in High School, but there were times when people gravitated towards me. Typically when they felt their life was at their lowest. When all their buddies were only hanging around to poke fun of their mistakes.
I expelled onlookers, cleaned their vomit, bought them medicine. At times, inconspicuously undid brash pranks and destroyed harsh notes before they could have the chance to know of them so these people would never know the pain such artifacts cause. I’m not sure what compelled me other than a real, personal understanding through experiencing cruelty and unkindness from many of my peers and superiors, even though at times it was deserved.
I urge everyone to show this kindness to others. Pay it forward when it hurts you the most and when the recipient either can’t see it or is in too sick of a state to even thank you for it.
And when they deject you on every other front and consistently pick you last for their team. Remember that they are victims of the very peer pressure they create, and live their lives in that wretched illusion. Those who choose reality – who live kindness, meekness and charity through trial after trial will eventually get great rewards.
It’s only the heart that can be broken – that sheds a tear at the pain of others, rather than becoming harsh and indignant – that is truly whole. And it’s only the whole heart that can experience the full delight of love that life allows. These are the people you see happily married 50+ years. These are the people who are loyal, dependable and honest. We are also the quiet ones. The wallflowers. The often ignored. Most business have little use for our reserved behavior, but we are the glue that holds people together through sweat and tears and blood. Though ignored, without the cohesiveness we bring, there would be no loyalty anywhere. Business would lack sincerity and humanity.
Our lives are are a reminder to others that they are also human, and as much as they might hate us for that reminder and wish to rise above that “weakness”. We see what they call a weakness as the greatest strength of all.
You can learn more about us, our strengths and what makes us tick by reading Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking