I’ll get back to the habit post later, but something struck me that I really want to share and remember.

Why do people sigh? If others are like me, they sigh when they’re about to face an event or person that brings a sense of trouble or frustration during a time when they are already tired or they sigh in relief after a good amount of tension has passed.

It’s sort of like saying “As tired as I am, I’ll step up to take care of this tedious task, but I wish it wasn’t necessary.” For example, if the dishes in the sink are flowing over and the dishwasher is full, either I sigh or my wife does. The one who sighs is generally the one who takes the responsibility.

Sighs of relief are a bit more rare. It’s like holding your breath in anticipation, then when the event is over letting it out. It’s that moment at the end of a good movie or sports game when you say “Whew! That was close.”

While reading through Mark I came across something that stood out. Jesus sighed. It’s mentioned twice in the Bible – both times in Mark, almost back to back in scripture (Mark 7:34, Mark 8:12). Jesus apparently had moments of exasperation. He didn’t get angry, but you can see his disappointment.

Mark 8:12 is obvious, so I’ll address that first:

And the Pharisees came out and began to dispute with Him (Jesus), seeking from Him a sign from heaven, testing Him. But He sighed deeply in His spirit and said, “Why does this generation seek a sign? Assuredly, I say to you, no sign shall be given to this generation.” And He left them, and getting into the boat again, departed to the other side… Then He charged [the disciples], saying, “Take heed, beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and the leaven of Herod.”

There are other issues going on through this verse, such as bickering about a loaf of bread, hardened hearts, and selfish ambitions amongst his disciples. Though that contributed to Jesus’ frustration, I don’t think it was the root of His sighing.

Jesus shows frustration on two specific related issues. At first it appears that it might be because the Pharisees are being a pain, but Jesus has dealt with these jerks before. I think it specifically has to do with them demanding a sign and spreading some idea that even though Jesus heals the sick, the lame, the blind, the possessed and has miraculously fed thousands that unless He can make some super-miracle sign from heaven (like maybe turning the sky green or something goofy like that) then He can’t really be (from) God. And I think the second issue is that his disciples and others were starting to believe that the Pharisees had a point.

It’s obvious from these troublemakers that even if Jesus gave them a bigger sign than He already had through His ministry that they wouldn’t be satisfied and would want an even bigger sign. They didn’t want a Savior, they wanted a magician.

Jesus could have given a big enough sign that it would have overthrown the Roman Empire. This should all sound familiar – it was a temptation from Satan when Jesus was in the wilderness for 40 days (Luke 4:5-6). He wasn’t here to do that, and doing so would have gone against the will of God The Father.

That second issue is about leavening. These Pharisees and Herodians are trying to devalue the works of God. When they start spreading thoughts that what Jesus is doing isn’t good enough evidence of who He is and others start believing it – even His own disciples – that’s a great disappointment.

How should we apply this? We need to be steadfast in God’s word and get to know His character. Most churches teach what the Bible says, and the good ones go as far as how to apply it – but how many really go into the character of God? We need to be on lookout for that. It’s our individual responsibility… and let’s stop putting conditions on God.

We shouldn’t say that if God is really God then He wouldn’t allow some event to happen or that He would have performed some crazy sign. That’s what the Pharisees and Herodians did. Sometimes He does give us signs, but I don’t see evidence that He does it to show off who He is, but rather to help us know who we’re dealing with. I doubt that’s the type of sign the Pharisees would be willing to, or want to, accept. Even when Jesus was crucified and the veil in the temple was torn from top to bottom they didn’t take it for a sign and just sewed it back up.

Mark 7:34 is tougher to get through. Partly because the man’s heart isn’t revealed until well after Jesus sighs, but remember that God can see into the heart of man and that He can tell what state it’s in. The gist of this passage is that Jesus heals a deaf and mute man who had nothing more than the selfish expectation to be healed. Jesus tells him not to tell anyone (this has caused trouble in the past – and I believe it ultimately led to the Pharisees confronting Jesus in chapter 8, see above).

You’d think this guy could at least be quiet – after all, he was so speechless that he didn’t even take a moment to thank the LORD for healing him. But he immediately runs off and disobeys Jesus’ command with the very tongue that was just healed. How many times do we beg God to do this – or to do that and expect it to be done, then get angry with God when it isn’t to our liking… or when He does answer our prayer we go off sinning just like before – perhaps with the very part of our life that God just healed?

I’m not saying we shouldn’t ask. God makes it clear that asking Him is good. When we come to expect it from Him is where we go wrong. We can’t put our sinful man-limited expectations on the creator of the Universe and expect any good to come of it.

Then, when God does pull through we should turn to Him in gratitude and ask Him what we could do for Him . What He wants usually isn’t what we think He wants. Our society is selfish by nature. We tend to quickly forget the good that others do and remember the bad. Apparently this neither new, nor specific to our culture.

Go against that selfish grind. Pay close attention – people are doing thoughtful things for you that you have no idea of. Find out about those things, then when you discover someone doing something kind, thank them and ask what you could do for them. In the meantime, list out specific times in your head when something happened (or didn’t happen) to save you from trouble… chances are, that was God. His greatest miracles happen when there is the least expectation.

At work we went through career path training. Some of it is very good, while some of it I disagree with. This post is a tongue-in-cheek observation of the ideas.

Rule 1. You can stereotype people based on their generation.

I’ve heard of stereotyping by astrological sign, by DiSC assessment, by Jung-Briggs-Myers personality tests – all which in one way or another fall under the four temperaments. This rule identifies the current four generations as a model by which you should be able to consistently and accurately predict the personality of your subject.

• Matures – Born 1909-1945. Have lots of money and wisdom, but won’t share it easily. Loyalty is paramount importance and you better say “Yes Sir” and “Yes Mam” when speaking to them. They tend to be paranoid of technology… possibly from watching “The Day The Earth Stood Still (1950)” too many times in theaters … or maybe by seeing destruction first-hand in WWII.
• Baby Boomers – Born 1946-1964. They love to work. They also love to complain about how much they work in a bragging-rights fashion. Frustrated because the previous generation didn’t share much insight with them as retaliation of their “Me” attitude. Boomers don’t care what you have to say – especially if you’re younger than them, but you better listen up when they talk.
• Generation X-ers – Born 1965-1980. In a backlash from the Boomers’ workaholic trait, feel that if it takes an hour to finish the job there’s no need to keep working on it to perfection. These guys are cynical and have no heros. What do you expect from the generation that suffered the fastest growing rate of scandals, disillusions and divorces in their childhood? Their theme tv-show is the X-files (the truth is out there).
• Millennials – Born after 1980. These people have to be hand-held through everything. They are as insecure as the Generation X-ers are grumpy. Their positive outlook on life, however, is more welcomed in the business world so they tend to excel above the X-ers. Their theme song is “Don’t rush me”

What I took home from this: people of different generations might have a world view that is predictable, but regardless, knowing a person’s world view is key in communicating with them. If their definitions are different than yours, knowing where they come from helps to understand them and meet their needs better.

Rule 2. Check your Values, Interests and Environment along with your Skills, Traits, Knowledge and Capabilities with your Goals.

We have values and interests that are core to who we are. Those are augmented by our skills (learned ability), traits (acquired), knowledge (learned) and capabilities (unrefined ability). I was told that leadership is a born tendency – almost inherited through genes. If you aren’t born with that tendency you’ll never be a leader. Oh – and old farts can’t learn new tricks, so why try?

Personally, the concept of a behavioral genome is too Kantian for me. Besides that, the Bible states evidence against it. More on that later.

What I took home from this: we need to be conscientious of where we stand to measure it. We can’t manage ourselves – our behavior specifically – if it can’t be measured. Personally, I use the Bible to stack up my traits to see if my values, interests, traits and knowledge reflect what God says they should be. Lots of room for development there.

Rule 3. Align what you’ve learned in Rule 2 to your work ethic.

The question was presented to us – why work? If you won the billion dollar lottery today, why work?

Although there were different tangents in that session that were noteworthy, the most important statement on this came from my College Philosophy professor. She said that it is an honor for man to work. From work he is able to contribute back to mankind, which is honorable. Only a vile selfish man wouldn’t do so, and thusly become either poor, wretched or both.

Our company broke down the traits that identify the maturity level of a person, and thusly reflects the maturity level of a person’s position as such:

• Credibility – How reliable is this person as a source?
• Competence – Can you teach this old dog new tricks?
• Confidence – Is the person enthusiastic and excited about work?
• Consistency – Is this person and his work stable or all over the place?

What I took home from this: in remembrance of what my College professor said, servitude is an exciting role. I’m not talking whips and leather (though that can also have its exciting role… er… for some… um… so I’ve heard) but that when you subject yourself for the good of mankind there are great rewards all around. My company is focused on providing other businesses with the best service possible because we believe that better businesses make a better future.

If you ask any of the Enron fall-outs what their values are, you’d hear something contrary to their actions. Values aren’t typically a part of the big business model. Had they consulted our company, I think that would have been pointed out. Whether they listened or not … well, that’s up to each individual.

Rule 4. Emotional Intelligence can get you as far, if not farther, than Brain Intelligence

For a person to have a high level of emotional intelligence they need to have mastery of the following:

• Self Awareness – How do you feel? / What are you thinking?
• Self Management – Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve. It isn’t appropriate.
• Social Awareness – How does your action affect others? The key is to think of others more than yourself.
• Relationship Management – The ability to manage your own emotions and have a good level of social awareness to manage others in the situation.

There’s a good amount of meat here. If you want to see an example of someone with poor self management, watch Barney Fife from the Andy Griffith show. An example of someone with good relationship management could be Donald Trump in his apprentice show (we all know the antics that players perform burn him up, but he rarely shows it and uses calm, collective tactics to weed out the offender).
What I took home from this: even though “IQ really can’t be modified beyond the measure that someone is born with” (I’ll buy that for a dollar), EI can be worked on and matured upon, like building up good muscle tone. OK – so I believe that people can raise their IQ score through thought exercises and learning the same way someone can increase their SAT score… but even more so can someone advance their maturity level in the EI realm by shifting his focus from himself to God’s and others.

Rule 5. Become what you want by turning a new habit.

The last topic stemmed into an exercise for us to form 2 new habits in 90 days. Personally, I think this is a genius enough idea to merit it’s own section. The Emotional Intelligence section is covered very well in the book of proverbs, in study of the beatitudes and in many many well written (even secular) books. It’s the problem of applying it – or making a habit of it that most stumble over, so where the last segment was about awareness, this segment is about application. What’s nice about this model is it can be applied to other areas of life besides just emotional intelligence, such as general quality of life (like making sure you wash yo
ur hands before each meal).

Turning a new habit:

• Pick your target. This is a hard or soft skill or behavior such as becoming a better listener.
• Consider your performance barrier. What stops you from developing that habit? Forgetfulness? Selfishness?
• Consider your desired outcome. What do you want out of this? For example, a happier marriage or a happier work life.
• Develop a ritual. Define specific steps to perform on a repeated basis to build an automatic action. This could be something like – stop yourself when you’ve realized you interrupted someone and ask them to continue.
• Plan one time action steps. For example, read “How to Win Friends and Influence People”.
• Reward yourself in your success throughout the process. If you went to a dinner party and didn’t interrupt once, go loves yourself some candy bar.

What I learned from this: new habits can be formed to overtake old habits. Can old habits be broken? I asked that question and the response I got showed the narrow mindset of the program: “Studies show that you can’t stop an old habit, actions make pathways in the brain that are irreversible.”

Hmm… I suppose people are incapable of quitting their habits of smoking or biting their nails. That smells like a challenge to me that I’m willing to take. I’m going to stop my life-long nasty habit of biting my nails. Here’s how:

• Target: Stop biting those nasty nails now – have nice long fingernails by May 17th.
• Barriers: I get distracted easily – especially when watching movies. I don’t like feeling spurs on the tips of my fingers.
• Outcome: Beautiful girly hands.
• Ritual: Tie string on my fingers before watching a film. Keep fingers away from my face when I’m not eating. Use my wife and kids as an accountability partner.
• Preparation: Talk to wife and kids about plan.
• Reward: Go see a movie in the theater

Corby Stephens posted a call for people to give up their stories on demonic possession. Most people responded with first or second accounts similar to the Hollywood-famous flying Ouiji board scene from so many of the horror movies it produces. A few posts were about eerie people resembling a page out of the script from Invasion of the Body Snatchers. As crazy as their accounts sound, I am one of those who fall in the camp believing them to be possible – without the gratuitous green vomit and rotating heads.

It’s interesting to note that there’s a growing movement to communicate with “the dead” built into modern culture.

Shows like Ghost Hunter and Most Haunted seek to communicate with the spirit world by informal seances called vigils. Through EVPs they get frightening results. They also have called on mediums for guidance.

Outside reality TV there are plenty of other shows that indicate that society has gone over the top to put “romance” in necromancy: Dead Like Me, Pushing Daisies, Ghost Whisperer, Medium and Supernatural to name a few.

The internet is also full of ghost hunting podcasters and specter-seeking clubs who use questionable techniques to contact the spirit world. Very dangerous stuff. It’s about as safe as taking down you’re dad’s 1960 chemistry set, mixing all the powders and potions then quaffing it down in the name of science.

Only a few times on any of these shows have I heard mention that demons, acting like the liars they are, will play the part of impostor to misguide and even hurt people. But that’s usually before a showdown between some silver-bullet toting vigilante and a shape-shifting Balrog, which presents the thought of demons as believable as the existence of a Keebler elf.

Perhaps the society we live in is so washed out with political correctness that the demons don’t really have a desire to present themselves. Doing so would risk being discovered and it’s easier, and perhaps even more of a game, to sit back and watch us stumbling to our own ethical demise.

The society as a whole has the spirit of Satan. I mean that in the most literal definitive sense. It is working in opposition of God. That’s where the majority of demonic power appears evident.

In all of this, I have a question. If the media is so bold as to teach that necromancy is romantic and exciting, why aren’t churches just as bold to acknowledge the issue.

Demons were real and problematic in the days of Noah. They’re seemingly more subtle today, but sometime in the near future it will be the days of Noah all over again. Did God put a restraining order on them or are they strategically hiding since it’s nearly impossible to believe in them without also believing in God?

Even more astonishing is that throughout the Bible, demon possessed people freely went into the synagogues (Mark 1:23) and hang around Jesus to be exorcised (Mark 3:10-12). If demons really had all that much power over their host, what would compel them to get so close to God? Was it just to stir up a little trouble with Jesus the same way they did through the possessed girl towards Paul in Macedonia? I know arrogance is a sin, but that all seems to go beyond sin into stupidity. Maybe demons have wised up over the years and learned they can do more harm by remaining unseen than in the Hollywood limelight.