Dismal

Sometimes I need a kick in the head … or at least in the pants. With middle age comes a more present awareness of our mortality.

Washington Irving was 36 years old when he published “The Sketch-Book”, including tales of old age (Rip Van Winkle) and death (The Legend of Sleepy Hollow). Although these were satire in nature, they were clearly aimed at the darker forces that envelop men even today. In these two stories he addresses pride and antisemitism under the guise of patriotism and covetous greed that’s fed under an heir of intellect and stature.

The first is an obvious snobbery that taunts and threatens every outcast to the point that outcasts wouldn’t exist without it. The second is more subtle and makes for a great study on literature. Even the smartest and most learned individual can fall into ignorance by the simplest and stupidest lack of moral character.

When these works were published they were touted by England as the first true sense of unique American literature in history. This is 30 years after the United States Constitution had been fully ratified and the government operations described therein realized. Our nation was still in its infancy.

Other works of literature that emphasized the dismal state of our mortality both physically and spiritually seem to have been developed at or past mid-life. Edgar Allen Poe wrote the Raven when he was 36, just four short years before his untimely demise. Dracula was written when Bram Stoker was 50. At 34 and 36, respectively, Stevenson wrote the Body-Snatcher and the Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

The only strong literary works that I could find of similar gruesome content written by authors at younger ages involved the Year without a Summer. On July 1816, the inception of Frankenstein and The Vampyre occurred on a creative dare instigated by Lord Byron after reading Phantasmagoria. Mary Shelley was 19 and John Polidori was 21.

No man can know when his time is up. Luke 12:20 paints a dim picture of a rich man who swells with pride at his accomplishments, destined to die that night.

So in our mortal state, what do we do? Gravestones rot and break away. People are only remembered two or three generations at best, then forgotten. Each marker tells a story, but each story – like the fires that smoldered the great Alexandrian Library – are lost and unrecognizable.

My dad considered the brevity of life and suggested that our brief time on Earth is meaningless without good relationships. It won’t be an intelligent and powerful person who finds worth in your ability who will hire you when you lose a job, it will be the friend who see a friend in need. Getting along well with others is essential to life, and living life in isolation brings a cold demise … there will be enough isolation as we’re buried alone.

Time

Maybe by getting older and having kids, time has become more valuable. I didn’t think much of it as a kid, hence the often yelled “We’re Waiting On You!” phrase that I heard growing up.

But as I was sifting through some well kept day planner pages from 2001 and 2002 I realized something. For two years I worked an average of 60 hours a week. Seeing that and realizing how little that got me in my career, and how much time I didn’t get with my family, I just shake my head in disgust.

How could I have been such an idiot? Not that I don’t mind working extra hours, but when you have an additional 900+ hours of work (above the regular work hours) in just one year alone … sheesh.

What could I have done with those 900 hours? Write more songs? Be a better dad? Be a better husband? What good did it do me to plug in 14 hour days on a regular basis? To add more injury to myself, I didn’t use up all my vacation time for that time … haven’t used my vacation time appropriately for years. As a result, I feel tired most of the time. My kids aren’t as close to me as I’d like and my marriage isn’t as strong as it should be. Neither is my walk with God.

I’m grateful that I took the time to record those hours. I quickly forget how long I’ve been pushing myself so hard and how worthless it all is. No rewards all around.

Looking at this, the question is – how do I change? What can I do to make the future better? Hours have already been cut back at work thanks to a change in position. I have to admit that I was upset at first, but it’s nice to be working a normal 40-45 hour week. I have to admit that I’ve contemplated a major uproot and taking my family to Italy or Spain where I hear of 30 hour work weeks, mid-day siestas and higher family values. Well – no Spain for us, at least not for now. But I need to make the time with my family precious. Not precious as in it’s so rare, but precious as in it’s so common they feel my absence when I’m not there.

Living on the edge

Baker's Edge Pan

When I bake brownies they usually end up a bit soft in the center, if you know what I mean. I’m talking gummy. (Note to self – chocolate flavored gummy bears… hmmm). But for many others suffering the same result, that’s changing.

The Baker’s Edge pan has been reviewed by nearly every baking company and food-based organization under the sun. That is, except the main chefs at the Food Network, which I suppose will hold off on their reviews until the Food Network can sell it. Although, Emeril and America’s Test Kitchen have reviews on it. But where’s Alton, the kitchen-gadget-geek-extraordinaire’s review?

So what’s the buzz? No more gummy brownies and more slightly-crunchy chewy edges. This pan distributes heat evenly across the brownie, baking it’s middle volume at the same rate as the outer pan. Several famous foodies including Alton Brown might call this a uni-tasker … but this is a glorified pan that could bake nearly anything a regular pan could.

My first thought is how difficult it might be to get the portions out of the pan – particularly if you’re dealing with Lasagna or “Mississippi Mud Pie/Cake” (aka “Sex In A Pan“).

My second thought is – it’s aluminum. I believe that the strong ties between aluminum and Alzheimer’s merits enough concern to stay away from aluminum when I can. I even go through the labels of toothpaste and deodorant to verify it is aluminum free. Why would I want it in my food, or want my food baking in it? Other than how aluminum heats up and cools off quickly (i.e. being a good conductor of heat), there is no reason not to go with stainless steel or cast iron or even silicon – all without Teflon, of course.

It would be interesting to see if this ever comes into stainless steel or silicon variety. Silicon would be particularly interesting since the weaving bars should give it more stability.