Reflections and Resolutions don’t make a happy rainbow…. it’s more like an oily stain on the street that, after a dismal rain, makes a rainbow-like blob that mirrors the shoes on your feet.

I think of my regrets. I already have several this year. I think of beginnings and endings. Too many “should-a-done” and “wish-I-did” items to list. It’s always depressing, cold and ugly outside this time of year. But then I look at the other side of the same hand. I can overpower those regrets and move them behind me (even the ones I already have in the past 6 days). I can think of growth and changes. There are plenty of “like-to-do” and “let’s-try-that” items that life becomes exciting again. Besides, my awesome neighbor across the street snowplowed my driveway when me and my family were so dog sick we couldn’t even get out of bed to thank him. You just don’t get neighbors much cooler than that!

I’m lousy with promises to myself. I either get all emotional (good and bad emotions) and throw out my resolutions like baby with the bathwater or I get forgetful in my lethargic tired self after a long day’s work. How many times have I promised myself that I’d learn the violin… or that I’d stop biting my fingernails… or… no need to continue.

Nevertheless, I’ve learned that if I write down what I want to achieve it’s more likely (through some subconscious level) that I’ll achieve the goals, so here it goes.

1. Stop biting my nails. Fingernails… I quit biting toenails long ago.
2. Really enjoy life with my family. Drop the pessimism.
3. Take several pictures a day and post at least two pictures each day (one of myself and one of whatever) with a focus of improving and experimenting with style, light and composition… but no matter what, take some pictures and post two each day.
4. Play music more regularly … as in “play a musical instrument”… not as in “play the radio”.
5. Get my home office clean and dump out the old junk
6. Become more giving of my time, money, resources, etc.
– pick a charity to sponsor and give weekly/monthly to it.
7. Really apply myself to all the (Jewish) Holidays… including Shabbat. It’s so tough to push aside my desire to clean … but I’ll find a way.
8. Save Money and get as much out of debt as possible.
9. Finish the back yard… deck, garden and playground. We can only afford this because of doing #8.
10. Learn Hebrew. At least get good enough to say some phrases and read some basic literature.
11. (Re)read the books on my reading list:
– How to Win Friends and Influence People – Dalie Carnegie
– Getting Things Done – David Allen
– Six Attitudes For Winners – Vincent Peale
– Organizing For Dummies – Eileen Roth
– more to come…
12. Make some awesome preserves.
13. Blog more regularly… as in no more than 7 days between posts. If anyone besides my wife starts showing interest then I’ll blog at least twice a week.
14. Write up some reviews on the iPhone apps I’ve collected.
15. Try a food I haven’t had before (must be kosher).
16. Lose waist… I don’t mind having the same weight if it’s all muscle around my body, but this fat belly of mine has got to go!
– Better Food Habits (eat less)
– Exercise (move more)

That’s it for now.

Ahhh Halloween. Candy candy candy! It surpasses Christmas and Thanksgiving combined in empty calories being passed around. At least the pies and cookies over the holidays have some nutritional value, but the candy over Halloween has replaced the rice crispies and candy apples of yesteryear.

Speaking of Yesteryear, the whole don’t-trust-your-neighbor-because-they’re-psychopathic-needle-hiding-maniacs just got way out of hand in the 1980′s despite the fact that any such incident was never reported. As a result, candy took over the more natural harvest foods of Halloween – cookies, cakes and candy apples wrapped in colorful cellophane and handed out by loving hands throughout the neighborhood.

Parents across the nation cringe with every chomp of a Jolly Rancher, every sticky chew of Laffy Taffy and, though they may appreciate the toothbrushes and floss that were handed out by the dentist down the block, it doesn’t tone down the sugar induced hyperactive blast or the moody downhill slide that happens soon after.

Last year I tried something out that was incredibly successful in reducing the sugar intake to a minimum while pleasing my kids. I bought a ton of little trinkets and toys and separated them into two piles – little toys and better toys – and a cashbox full of dollar bills, quarters, dimes and pennies.

Then I wrote up a chart and opened shop. The kids traded in their candy voluntarily. If they wanted to keep the candy, that was fine, but bigger and better prizes awaited those who traded, and I made the points diminish slightly percentage-wise to encourage higher trades. For example, 2 points would get you a penny while 45 (instead of 50) got you a quarter. The candy-to-point chart was also designed with the children’s allergies in mind to offset how bummed they get when someone hands them a wheat product. Suddenly, that bag of pretzels is a coveted treat because it’s worth a quarter!

Let me know if you find the idea (and the chart) useful. Thanks!

Trading in Candy

Despite the general attitude of parents that the Government run schools can provide all the education anyone would need, parents should take a leading role in certain topics that aren’t fostered in the public education system. As mentioned in one of my previous posts, the school does an awful job teaching sexual conduct, often times inviting interest groups to lobby children (e.g. Planned Parenthood teaching “values exploration… in Kindergarten.”), but primarily I have a problem with how authority and respect have been stripped out for the sake of “political correctness”.

As a result, I’m addressing the values that have been lost, and is only taught at the sole discretion of parents (if at all): respect and politeness – namely, manners.

It’s become increasingly less familiar for children to say “please” and “thank you”. Knowing that kids learn by example, it becomes evident that parents haven’t set that example. I’m living in a generation of social delinquents who spawn bundles of disrespect and release them, unaware, into the world. Do we, as parents, say “please” and “thank you” to our children? Do we interrupt them when they’re trying to speak? How about ignoring their presence in a room? Do you yell or holler to them across the house (very rude in my opinion) instead of coming to them to talk in a calm and considerate tone? What about the last time someone invited you to an event … did you send a thank-you card?

There are also social boundaries that have been lost in our generation. Why haven’t we instilled the respect of using the title “Mr.”, “Mrs.” or “Miss”? The boundary set by titles is meant to establish rapport. When you go to a doctor’s office or in a court, you address the person you’re speaking to as “Doctor” or “Honorable Judge”… this establishes that you respect their position as a medical or law professional. Children should use titles to address adults to establish respect for our position, too… after all, they will be adults too someday and would like to have been given respect through recognition for their years of experience in life.

I appreciate how other languages, such as German, have a respectfully polite and formal pronoun that represents “Sir” or “Ma’am”. In old English, we had the pronoun “Thee”, stemmed from Old High German “Sie” (pronounced like “see”), which is a polite form of “you” that is used for superiors. It’s sad that we lost that, but only emphasizes more the need for us to hold onto the few entitlements we have left to construct a polite and orderly character in our children.