It wasn’t until I was in college that I found out one of our family secrets that both my Grandfather and Great Grandfather were on the initial construction crew for Disneyland.

It’s one of those things that when you tell someone you get one of two responses: “Yeah, Right!” or “Wow, Neat!”, though the first response is usually silently spoken behind a polite smile.

My grandpa would come home from work and try to describe what they were building and the details that went into it. Nobody at the time could understand what he was talking about “Your building a … castle? For real? You built a … tree? Why not just plant one?” He and Disney actually had a personal relationship as well. Disney would sit on one of the docks for lunch. None of the other construction workers felt comfortable enough, but my grandpa would sit right next to him and have lunch together talking about families and dreams.

Disneyland has far more educational value than half the school slums in our country, but you have to dig for it. Try reading a few books on how Disney performed his work before the next time you visit… or just to learn a few tips and pointers to improve your own personal business and achievements. Our family favorite is the “One-Up”.

When Disney walked into a room to see the story boards (a concept he invented and everyone uses today) he would listen to people’s ideas and envision something fantastic. When it came down to building the parts, whether it was a ride in an amusement park or a frame still for a movie, he would look at it and say to the engineers and artists … “That’s great. Now one-up it.” One-up means to overachieve… to excel.

When we build something we get stuck in the forest and can’t see it through the trees. When we step back we can see areas of improvement. “One-Up” means changing how we see things for a minute… to step out of our mind, or to step into a fresh mind depending on how you view it … and making the experience better.

With the common proverb (by Julius Caesar) that “experience is the greatest teacher”, it makes sense that walking through one of the greatest creations of the greatest teacher of details, magic and experience (speaking of Disneyland and Disney) would lend to teaching a thing or two.

Reflections and Resolutions don’t make a happy rainbow…. it’s more like an oily stain on the street that, after a dismal rain, makes a rainbow-like blob that mirrors the shoes on your feet.

I think of my regrets. I already have several this year. I think of beginnings and endings. Too many “should-a-done” and “wish-I-did” items to list. It’s always depressing, cold and ugly outside this time of year. But then I look at the other side of the same hand. I can overpower those regrets and move them behind me (even the ones I already have in the past 6 days). I can think of growth and changes. There are plenty of “like-to-do” and “let’s-try-that” items that life becomes exciting again. Besides, my awesome neighbor across the street snowplowed my driveway when me and my family were so dog sick we couldn’t even get out of bed to thank him. You just don’t get neighbors much cooler than that!

I’m lousy with promises to myself. I either get all emotional (good and bad emotions) and throw out my resolutions like baby with the bathwater or I get forgetful in my lethargic tired self after a long day’s work. How many times have I promised myself that I’d learn the violin… or that I’d stop biting my fingernails… or… no need to continue.

Nevertheless, I’ve learned that if I write down what I want to achieve it’s more likely (through some subconscious level) that I’ll achieve the goals, so here it goes.

1. Stop biting my nails. Fingernails… I quit biting toenails long ago.
2. Really enjoy life with my family. Drop the pessimism.
3. Take several pictures a day and post at least two pictures each day (one of myself and one of whatever) with a focus of improving and experimenting with style, light and composition… but no matter what, take some pictures and post two each day.
4. Play music more regularly … as in “play a musical instrument”… not as in “play the radio”.
5. Get my home office clean and dump out the old junk
6. Become more giving of my time, money, resources, etc.
– pick a charity to sponsor and give weekly/monthly to it.
7. Really apply myself to all the (Jewish) Holidays… including Shabbat. It’s so tough to push aside my desire to clean … but I’ll find a way.
8. Save Money and get as much out of debt as possible.
9. Finish the back yard… deck, garden and playground. We can only afford this because of doing #8.
10. Learn Hebrew. At least get good enough to say some phrases and read some basic literature.
11. (Re)read the books on my reading list:
– How to Win Friends and Influence People – Dalie Carnegie
– Getting Things Done – David Allen
– Six Attitudes For Winners – Vincent Peale
– Organizing For Dummies – Eileen Roth
– more to come…
12. Make some awesome preserves.
13. Blog more regularly… as in no more than 7 days between posts. If anyone besides my wife starts showing interest then I’ll blog at least twice a week.
14. Write up some reviews on the iPhone apps I’ve collected.
15. Try a food I haven’t had before (must be kosher).
16. Lose waist… I don’t mind having the same weight if it’s all muscle around my body, but this fat belly of mine has got to go!
– Better Food Habits (eat less)
– Exercise (move more)

That’s it for now.

Hollywood thinks that talking about your bullying experience will actually help. In some regards it does… as an individual sharing your feelings with another you get the sense that someone else is sharing the burden with you, but it doesn’t stop the problem.

I was bullied from Kindergarten all the way through High School. The bullying was directed by teachers – not just from other students or peers; Teachers were the main criminals. Who do you turn to when you’re six years old and your teacher is calling you names like “loser” and “a nothing – a nobody – that’s all you are and all you’ll ever be” in front of class. What about when you’re twelve and a teacher holds up a playboy in class, telling the girls that if they don’t look like that they won’t amount to anything in life? Or when you’re thirteen and your coach makes crude remarks about you in front of other boys in the locker room? What about when you’re sixteen and the teachers choose to look the other way while you’re getting the crap beaten out of you in the hall?

School is a crime against humanity. The system wreaks from the inside out. Although I don’t condone what happened at Columbine, those kids had enough. They talked and adults didn’t listen. When nobody listens, you have to make some noise… sadly, their noise was through bullets ending the life of others (both guilty and innocent of bullying). The big noise now is through Facebook announced suicides.

Although suicides are among people of all race, creed and color, the big craze now is in homosexual suicides. I can say from experience that this has been going on for decades and has only started getting recognition. When the other boys don’t know why you’re different, they just start assuming you’re gay and call you names and treat you accordingly. I was never gay, but apparently many guys in my class thought otherwise… or they didn’t know big words like “unique” or “introverted” or “sensitive” or “empathic”.

Last weekend I recounted to my daughter why I delved into the occult when I was twelve. It was to escape the pain… Even the memories are painful. Memories of having my face buried in a toilet full of feces then flushed… of opening up my locker to find it full of used condoms… of having a boy force his groin up to my face in gym class… of being physically bullied so much that I passed out in the school hall… of having someone dump a bottle of skunk essence on my head then being sent out of class because I smelt so bad it was disrupting… and the smaller continuous things like being flicked in the ear each day on the bus… having chewed gum or thumbtacks stuck in my seat… and all the degrading names… the list goes on. I felt like even God couldn’t do anything about it. The fantasy of the occult promised super powers and magic that anyone caught in the fabric between childhood and adulthood while in the midst of despair would reach for. I bit that apple, but it didn’t give me anything more than paranoia to add to the pain and darkness.

I certainly thought of suicide, and so did one of my friends who did eventually go through with it. My parents knew some of what went on and took it to the school council. They balked at my parents. If this were happening today, lawsuits would be involved. Back then, the council members were only embarrassed enough to make arrangements for me to cut gym class, but forced me into special ed because I was different. Had I lived in Colorado Springs back then, I probably would have gone through with suicide because it’s so common here that I would have had the “support” of both bullies and peers to “off” myself. (Sadly, Colorado Springs has the title for the second highest suicide rate in the nation. First billing goes to Las Vegas.)

If you want to do something about it, keep your kids out of school or become hot-damn determined to go to every PTA meet and visit campus weekly. It’s already been proven that kids can learn reading, writing, arithmetic and history through a better environment than what our government provides. Let me add that they can also learn more about life and live a happier one with some dignity intact by keeping them out of school. When my dad confronted the dad of one of the school bullies, merely stating that he needed to have a talk with his child, the parent’s response was a threatening “so what are *you* gonna do about it?”

When morally cheapened parents put their kids in a rotting system that spends every effort being politically correct and conforming children into the same mindset, teachers are robbed of their own human rights, are stripped of authority and anarchy inevitably takes over.

If children choose to go to college, warn them about fraternities and sororities that condone hazing, sexual misconduct and alcohol abuse. These debase human beings to the behavior of animals. There are so many great clubs and organizations that an “all boys” or “all girls” club is purely unnecessary and pointless. Better friends are made elsewhere.

… And when it comes to being bullied, it’s the hope from a good friend who stands up for you that makes living the next day a viable option.

Consider that there are alternatives to school. The most successful people in the world are the drop-outs: Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Ansel Adams, Julie Andrews, Billie Holiday, Tom Hanks and a list of nearly a thousand others who make the top 1% of the world’s revenue and political influence. School is not for everyone, and it’s apparent that going to school could even hinder your child’s future success. I’m not saying these people weren’t educated – I’m saying public school’s version of “education” isn’t suited for the greatest achievers… In most cases that’s who the bullies pick on – perhaps because that’s who they fear.