In an interview, I asked the question: “When is solving a problem worse than the problem itself?”
There are many good answers to this question, and I’ll present two here:
I broke it by trying to fix it
As a young teen, I often trekked the woods near my house.
One day I came across a hatching chrysalis. It seemed obvious to me that the butterfly inside was struggling for its life. I pulled out my pocket knife and carefully enlarged the split, helping it progress.
It eventually came out and its wings spread but it never flew. It needed that life-and-death struggle to build the strength to fly; My success in helping it out of its cocoon created a long-term failure in denying that struggle.
From what I’ve read, other people have tried this with varying results. Sometimes the emerging butterfly is fine. Sometimes it can’t even unfurl its wings, and dies shortly after. Sometimes it’s sick and will die regardless – there is nothing to be done.
The lesson in this is that sometimes the “solution” causes a problem – it’s the wrong prognosis for the diagnosis. In most cases, I’ve found that time either reveals the correct solution, or is the solution itself.
Time either presents the correct solution, or is the solution itself. Watchful waiting while the smoke clears keeps you from causing more damage and clears your head to recognize the real from the imagined. Click To Tweet(Not really) booked until Thursday
I asked a doctor-friend why people are made to wait. It seemed cruel to me.
He said that many times, people react to the shock or the perceived immediacy of the ailment or accident. By giving people some time to digest what’s going on, they give a more accurate description of the problem and help him with the diagnosis and the course of medicine. Many times, he added, the problem fixes itself. It’s not as serious as they thought or our natural ability to heal takes over and they’re well by the time they have the appointment.
In both of these stories, watchful waiting can be the successful course of action while acting with urgency causes or adds to the problem.
It’s very hard to wait when the world feels like it’s crashing down. Ignoring (what seems like) impending failure isn’t an option. Especially when emotions are high – wait on it. Don’t send that email. Don’t make that phone call. Just wait it out. The very perception of failure causes irrational responses.
Sometimes actively trying to solve the problem is the problem. I’ve discovered that this is consistent among a variety of people: the stronger the emotional motivation, the more true this is.