It was pouring rain in the Central American jungle. It had been doing so for days. We macheted through broad sharp leaves and trudged through thick mud to get to our destination. I was carrying medical equipment that our doctor would administer to a sick man at his home.
The household was grateful to see our group arrive. With a deeply sincere set of smiles, they escorted us into their home.
The hut was nice by the local standard. Brick augmented the wooden support beams and rails that held up the metal roof. A woman was frying food on an open flame, using banana leaves as we would use pans. The rain drops would sputter and sizzle in the fire, adding to the steam and smoke that rose in the air.
Despite what I had thought before, even though the rain itself was warm, it chilled us to be in it for so long. I hadn’t realized how cold I had gotten until I felt the warmth of the fire that radiated from the make-shift stove. But it didn’t seem to radiate far enough to warm a man resting on a bed on the opposite side of the cabin, a few feet away.
The doctor stepped in and approached the man. I dutifully stepped beside him with his equipment along with another assistant. After an examination, the doctor smiled, took some amoxicillin from his bag and handed it to the man, giving instructions to our translator who in turn repeated them in Spanish for the patient and his family to hear.
There are times in my life when I feel the weight of failure so deep that it almost defines me: That time I was stood up for a date, the idea that my manager shot down yelling at me in front of others, the countless times I heard “what’s wrong with you?” by adults growing up, dropping the catch during a baseball game and hearing other team members shout my name like it was a filthy word, the stack of rejection letters from job interviews.
A decade ago, a study with monkeys revealed that it is through repeated success that we become more successful. Failures don’t tend to teach much, and a hostile, deprived, negative environment just makes us weaker and more prone to failure.
Success breeds success, so find ways to be successful – even in small things. What better way than to help a neighbor or volunteer for the community? Click To TweetI noticed this years ago while watching tennis. People who miss the ball, usually miss in pairs, and when stronger shots would better serve their score, they hold back after a point loss. A failure to point causes a psychological double-play that alters behavior to hedge the risk. In short, failure increases fear and tears up our courage.
But it takes more than courage to overcome that failure and become fully re-engaged in the next move. Like the monkey study mentioned earlier, it takes the positive outcome of a positive action to flip past the failure cycle.
We can apply this to our lives. Our activities can shape our success. This is why Navy Seals say that making the bed in the morning has a dramatic effect on achievement. It’s also why volunteer work, when you feel least like volunteering (e.g. in the midst of depression) can actually turn your life around and even save it from disaster.
When you have failed, or especially if you consider yourself a failure (e.g. Charlie Brown), start something positive and success will start to weave its way into your life. When I reflect on that mission trip and others like it, I consider myself blessed and my perspective in life becomes more positive. In turn, I see more of the good around me and am more prone to take risks. Volunteer for success and you’ll find it already there, waiting.
This article is from the “Raw Talk on Failure” series.
- A Raw Talk on Failure
- For Shame!
- The Junkie
- Success as a Paradox
- Ultimate Failure Fix
- What Does Risk Look Like?
- Know the Role You Serve
- Don’t Let Your Past Define You
Photo by Mitchell Griest on Unsplash