What Does Risk Look Like?

What the H….amantaschen is that!?

It’s a risk that epitomizes the type of risks my wife and I face each day through our son. He has severe food allergies. No nuts. No wheat. No chicken eggs. No chicken meat. No dairy. No shellfish. No sorghum, quinoa, corn, tomatoes, strawberries… there are also some restrictions with red dye and sugar (though he can have that every once in a while). We keep an epipen handy and have our own nebulizer.

With great restrictions comes risk. It’s not “necessity” alone that mothers invention. It’s the necessity with restrictions that force us to be take risks – to be inventive. It’s what created the electric shaver and the sewing machine.

How do you create a special treat that someone with so many restrictions can have? You have to get creative, and sometimes a little rushed assumption helps the process along.

“Do we have any egg replacer?” I asked my wife. “No. But I have a recipe that uses gelatin.” Her fingers scampered across her iPhone. “I just sent it to you in an email.”

I looked over the recipe. There were some brand-names mentioned. I remember us having unflavored gelatin at one time… but we were out. Tonight is the only time I have to bake the Hamantaschen cookies before Purim. I scampered through all our pantries. We had a box of strawberry gelatin … naturally flavored. Does natural strawberry flavor have the same effect on my son as an actual strawberry? Better not risk it. I grabbed a box of artificially flavored cherry jello and started working the recipe my wife gave.

Looking at the “Immaculate” brand Gluten Free Sugar Cookie Mix directions: 1 stick (1/2 cup) of softened butter – my son can’t have that. I need to replace the butter. Last time I did a one-to-one replacement with coconut oil. That ended up bad. All the cookies were greasy. Lesson learned. I’ll use half the amount of coconut oil instead. But what do I replace the remaining missing butter with? Maybe more egg replacer… more jello. The idea is for the dough to spread and set. That’s what drop cookies do… Oh! I need to shape these… no problem, I’ll just add a little less moisture so that I can roll it out … or so I thought.

While mixing up the measured amount of cherry gelatin with lemon juice and hot water I realized it didn’t look right. It isn’t setting like an egg replacer should… but I didn’t have time, and I was determined to make a cookie that he could have.

I jumped to adding the strongly scented cherry gelatin mixture and coconut oil into the cookie mix. After thoroughly mixing it together, it was obvious that I needed more moisture. After carefully adding just a little more hot water it looked like a drop dough recipe. You can’t fold the dough into the traditional “hat” shapes. My heart sank a little. I felt like I was failing. In a sense, I was. This step in the process was nothing like I wanted. I let the dough sit in the bowl while I thought up a plan.

One of my daughters walked into the kitchen and squealed with delight when she saw it! “It’s pink!” she paused. “It’s so pink!

She’s right. I have tried all sorts of food coloring before and I never saw cookie dough this brightly colored before. Maybe gelatin is a better coloring agent because of how the dye is captured in its crystals.

They’re going to be drop-dough cookies. I told her. How do I make them round and fold them into the hats? (For those unfamiliar with Hamantaschen cookies, they are traditionally made by folding a round-cut rolled-out sugar cookie dough into the shape of a three-cornered hat.)

A thought came to mind … maybe the solution to my problem exists in the culmination of my cookie dough failure itself! With all that gelatin, it can set in a more pliable manner … if I pull them out of the oven at just the right time, the cookies will be malleable enough to fold without breaking.

I scooped up little balls of the cookie dough and placed them on the silpat and into the oven. I watched a timer carefully when baking them. At three minutes, they had spread out into circles … good. At five minutes, they were too soft to move with a spatula. At eight minutes… I gave them a try. I took the sheet out of the oven and to my amazement, it was like shaping hot, soft play-dough!

I quickly shaped all the cookies on the sheet – small batches of 10 cookies at a time – then put the sheets back in the oven for another 5 minutes. They came out looking like very pink Hamantaschen!

I’ve tried all sorts of food coloring in dough the past, and it has always ended up yellowing or browning around the edges. These cookies were perfectly, consistently pink.

On the second batch, I tried to fold them at 6 minutes. The two that I tried were too soft and didn’t hold their shape. At 8 minutes exactly, the cookies were foldable. Those two ended up looking like a tesseract of sorts when I refolded them. Fun!

After the third batch of cookies, I was out of dough. I surveyed the concoction I made. It was a failure with not having egg replacer mix that brought me to using an egg replacer recipe. It was a failure of not seeing the canister of unflavored brand-name gelatin (that my wife had written into the recipe) that brought me to using cherry flavored jello. It was my using of that jello to replace half the butter that caused the batter to not be rollable. It was the failure of it not being rollable that led me to sit and think creatively. I wouldn’t be surprised if the time I spent thinking up a solution out of this mess gave the batter time to “rise” and form properly within the bowl.

Eventually, all these failures created something never tried before. 3 tablespoons of cherry jello, 1 1/2 tablespoons of lemon juice, 1/4 cup of coconut oil, a bit of hot water and 15 ounces of cookie mix … left for a moment to rise and set in an oven for 8 minutes, then folded, then baked for another 5 minutes … served with a drizzle of home-made chocolate sauce (chocolate covered cherry cookies, anyone?) … produced brightly colored, perfectly chewy, sweet & tasty, child-glee inducing success!

When in the midst of risk, and when things get riskier. Sometimes it pays to not give up – to stick with it to the end. There are times to know when to quit. That’s my weak leadership skill that I’m working on… but my strength is that I don’t give up, and that … more often than not … produces … victory!

This article is from the “Raw Talk on Failure” series.

Ultimate Failure Fix

It was pouring rain in the Central American jungle. It had been doing so for days. We macheted through broad sharp leaves and trudged through thick mud to get to our destination. I was carrying medical equipment that our doctor would administer to a sick man at his home.

The household was grateful to see our group arrive. With a deeply sincere set of smiles, they escorted us into their home.

The hut was nice by the local standard. Brick augmented the wooden support beams and rails that held up the metal roof. A woman was frying food on an open flame, using banana leaves as we would use pans. The rain drops would sputter and sizzle in the fire, adding to the steam and smoke that rose in the air.

Despite what I had thought before, even though the rain itself was warm, it chilled us to be in it for so long. I hadn’t realized how cold I had gotten until I felt the warmth of the fire that radiated from the make-shift stove. But it didn’t seem to radiate far enough to warm a man resting on a bed on the opposite side of the cabin, a few feet away.

The doctor stepped in and approached the man. I dutifully stepped beside him with his equipment along with another assistant. After an examination, the doctor smiled, took some amoxicillin from his bag and handed it to the man, giving instructions to our translator who in turn repeated them in Spanish for the patient and his family to hear.


There are times in my life when I feel the weight of failure so deep that it almost defines me: That time I was stood up for a date, the idea that my manager shot down yelling at me in front of others, the countless times I heard “what’s wrong with you?” by adults growing up, dropping the catch during a baseball game and hearing other team members shout my name like it was a filthy word, the stack of rejection letters from job interviews.

A decade ago, a study with monkeys revealed that it is through repeated success that we become more successful. Failures don’t tend to teach much, and a hostile, deprived, negative environment just makes us weaker and more prone to failure.

Success breeds success, so find ways to be successful – even in small things. What better way than to help a neighbor or volunteer for the community? Click To Tweet

I noticed this years ago while watching tennis. People who miss the ball, usually miss in pairs, and when stronger shots would better serve their score, they hold back after a point loss. A failure to point causes a psychological double-play that alters behavior to hedge the risk. In short, failure increases fear and tears up our courage.

But it takes more than courage to overcome that failure and become fully re-engaged in the next move. Like the monkey study mentioned earlier, it takes the positive outcome of a positive action to flip past the failure cycle.

We can apply this to our lives. Our activities can shape our success. This is why Navy Seals say that making the bed in the morning has a dramatic effect on achievement. It’s also why volunteer work, when you feel least like volunteering (e.g. in the midst of depression) can actually turn your life around and even save it from disaster.

When you have failed, or especially if you consider yourself a failure (e.g. Charlie Brown), start something positive and success will start to weave its way into your life. When I reflect on that mission trip and others like it, I consider myself blessed and my perspective in life becomes more positive. In turn, I see more of the good around me and am more prone to take risks. Volunteer for success and you’ll find it already there, waiting.

This article is from the “Raw Talk on Failure” series.

Photo by Mitchell Griest on Unsplash

The Junkie

It was a culmination of bad days. My best friend died a few months before. My band instrument was stolen because someone tried to pull a prank on me and the band director did nothing about it. I had been beaten up so hard at my locker that I had to go to the infirmary and subsequently, go home early. I told my dad that I was ready to “end it all”.

Many people have been there. Maybe even you. When people under a $150k salary were asked what they value in a job, it wasn’t that they did work with meaning. It was a stable income and dignity. People are even willing to take a lower paying job if it gives them more dignity and time with family. (*Roy Bahat).

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please get help.
Call 1-800-273-8255 – the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

My dad came in my room. After a series of questions and a typical lecture that went nowhere, he turned around and saw a poster of a cartoon alley cat near a dumpster with the words emblazoned “I’m Okay, God Doesn’t Make Junk”. My dad ordered me to recite it over and over again.

I hated that poster. I always did. I had ordered a different poster through a mail-order catalogue (it was the 80’s) and they sent me the wrong one. I had put the poster on the wall as a reminder that the forces of the universe were against me.

I'm okay! God doesn't make junk! Click To Tweet

But the words on that poster is the message I carry with me in life. We are not junk, nor should we allow ourselves to be treated as such – especially from our inner thoughts. And the universe isn’t against you. There is no chance, but there is fate. There are no odds to beat, but life is a gamble. We make bad decisions, but our lives are not a bad decision. We hurt those we love, but that doesn’t make us unloveable.

When you feel disparaged – when it seems that life is out to get you. Recite out loud, because it’s true: “I’m Okay, God Doesn’t Make Junk.” You have worth. You just don’t feel it at the moment.

This article is from the “Raw Talk on Failure” series.

Photo by Fábio Scaletta on Unsplash