Over the course of the past few years, I’ve submitted my résumé hundreds of times to various places. Very few have given me the feedback needed to improve professionally. It seems like interviewers often feel it’s a taboo to discuss the interview with the person being interrogated – and I mean interrogated in these cases.
On a rare and special occasion, someone will provide very helpful feedback. One of the most mysterious feedbacks I ever got was after an interview at Google. The day after the interview, the recruiter starts with this question:
“How do you think you did?”
When I responded with something like “I’m so embarrassed. I know I did poorly. There’s no way that would have been good.” then Google would be open for another round of interviews a few weeks later.
But when I responded with something like “I feel really good about it! They threw wrenches and my code already handled all their cases! I feel great!” then the recruiter would stop the interviewing process.
I’ve made some cringeworthy mistakes in interviews that sit like a pit in my stomach. One common thread is that I tried to impress people by doing something beyond myself. Companies don’t care that you move out of your comfort zone. They care nothing of effort – they want results that are easily measurable. Being a senior-level developer that produces junior-level code because I’m developing something outside my experience doesn’t impress.
You might think that you’re getting the “Don’t call us – we’ll call you” message if you ever see the phrase “We’re keeping your resume on file.” in a rejection letter. For the most part, you’re right. But I have had a couple of rare occasions where the company actually did call me back and after another round of interviews, been given nice offers.
Failure and rejection are not the same, and if you're living right, neither are avoidable. Click To TweetThe point I want to make here is that rejection isn’t the same thing as failure and vice-versa.
Some rejections are not explained, but they aren’t because of a failure on your part. Some failures are obvious and can be tied into that rejection. But sometimes there’s complete failure that results in acceptance and even becomes a model for success.
The greatest rejection we face is that within ourselves. All the names we call ourselves – or that we allow others to call us. For some people, the rejection leads to a dialogue of worthlessness that goes very dark.
After a recent visit to a “Break Free” session, three-fourths of the people from 12 to 82 raised their hands or nodded when asked if they feel harsh failure and rejection from the voices inside their heads.
In the following posts, I’d like to explore this deeper and provide some solid solutions that remedy some of the deepest pains we experience – even those that lead to suicide. The truth is: failure is not an option because it’s inevitable. Even hiding from failure is in itself a failure to live. On the same token, rejection is a continuous battle fought most within our own minds.