Just for being in our family the children get approximately $1 per year of age (after reaching 5 years old) each month. It gets divided into fourths and divvied out weekly. For example, one child is 9 years old. I take 9, divide it by 4 and come up with 2.25 a week. I could have used a more accurate monthly-allowance formula: age * 12 / 52. That would, however, come up to $2.076923 for the same 9-year-old. I don’t mind the extra 18 cents a week to nicely round up the allowance payments into quarters. And having all those quarters turns out to be important as you’ll see.

Why don’t we give them a dollar per age per week like the “average” American family? Well… we don’t want to give them too much because learning to save and plan for specific “goal” purchases while developing the behavior to fight off impulse purchases work best on smaller allowances. If they could get away with buying impulse items and still get their “goal” item in a short period of time it wouldn’t have the same effect.

Here’s the “catch”:

1. Necessities come from Mom and Dad. Splurges come from your allowance. They were good about not asking for extras before, but now they are ready to learn to ask themselves the value of what they want to purchase.

2. 20% is put in a savings account. 10% is donated and 70% is for whatever the child decides. We help the child learn about saving up their 70% for the toys they want.

3. Chores that aren’t finished by a given deadline go up to the lowest bidder who has already finished all his/her chores. The person who was supposed to perform the duty must pay the lowest bidder. For example, if child A doesn’t want to wash the dishes, children B, C and D offer their bids to do it. Child A then has to pay the lowest bidder their asking price. It’s capped according to the chore and immediate need.

We first tried giving them all the money up front at the beginning of the month. All the excitement fizzled out by the end of the first week.

That’s why we divided their age by fourths, then hand out that amount each week (they make a little more money that way, but I don’t care as long as they learn good lessons with it).

They can occasionally get paid bonuses for chores that Mom or Dad forgo, provided they have already done their chores. This further motivates them to be done so they have that availability.

Using this method they learn about saving, spending, earning, preparedness, frugality and charity. So far it’s working well. We adapted the idea from Jim Fay’s Love and Logic.

I’m a pushover for kids. Especially if the child has some type of disease or disorder that puts him or her at a higher risk for being teased and abused by peers. This sympathy probably stems from personal experience, but admittedly, I choke back tears when watching Hallmark commercials.

Twenty months ago when visiting friends at the corporate office, there were some jokes and remarks about the owner, the VP of production and some other guys growing out their hair long. I took up the challenge for vain purposes at first, to fit in as one of the guys.

A few months later an opportunity to help others through this silly endeavor became evident. Children undergoing chemo treatment or suffering Alopecia could use a wig or hair extensions. Ironically, one of the younger stars on Flickr that I’ve come to admire (for her willingness to humble herself and her professional, yet fanciful style) has Alopecia and uses hair extensions.

So it was decided to grow out my hair the required length for donation. It hasn’t been without it’s sacrifices. And as I’ve come to even like having long hair it will be another sacrifice to cut it back. Still, there’s good with each season in life and the satisfaction of knowing how the past 20 months of minimal effort will bring peace to a child or young-adult’s life brings a great satisfaction.

What I’ve learned over these past 20 months:

1. Hair doesn’t grow out at the rate of an inch per month. It’s more like 3/8 of an inch permonth.
2. As a long haired man, I’ve “frightened” many grown-ups… until I started looking more like a smiling Jesus hippy.
3. The younger the child, the less affected they are to seeing long hair on a man.
4. Each inch of long hair from the forehead causes another annoyance until it reaches about 7 inches long.
   • First it gets in the eyes
   • Six weeks later it’s into the nose
   • another six weeks and it curls into the mouth
   • Yet another six weeks it tickles the chin

   This is probably why so many long-haired women have short bangs.

5. Nearly all shampoo has lauryl sulfate in it. This chemical weakens the hair and over-strips the protective oils from it. (Great site about shampoo ingredients.)
6. When doing any type of physical labor that requires you look down, any hair that isn’t tied back obstructs your view.
7. It’s difficult to pull back all your long hair and the one strand that isn’t bound with the rest will find its way into your face when you roll down the car window to let in the outside breeze.
8. Long braided pig-tails and a bandanna doesn’t make me look as cool as it does for Willie Nelson.
9. Long haired men that walk with confidence are stereotyped as successful photographer/musician/artist.
10. Women who brandish well-kept natural long hair have garnered my respect.

I notice myself being drawn to that question – particularly in lyrics and music. The question raises serious naval-staring moments. I’m really nobody; nothing important; dust or vapor in the wind; a shadow before sunrise.

What makes me so important to others? I’m not special or particularly good looking. If there was anti-charisma, you’d certainly attribute that to my character. I’m not being humble here, just honest. So why would anyone find me special?

I think Antoine de Saint-Exupery stated it well in “The Little Prince”

“Anything essential is invisible to the eyes…. It’s the time that you spent on your rose that makes your rose so important…. People have forgotten this truth,” the fox said, “But you mustn’t forget it. You become responsible for what you’ve tamed. You’re responsible for your rose….”

I suppose I’m a little wild, like the fox or the rose and people who have personally spent time chipping away at that to tame me has also acquired a special sense of responsibility and uniqueness for me.

There’s a proverb that states “Where your treasure is, your heart is also.” The more we work at something, the more of our personal selves are put into it and the more it’s treasured. It’s what we choose to treasure that alters the world around us and changes other people – and not necessarily because they’ve changed, but more because of a change in our perception.